other intellegent life forms

Do I believe in aliens? I don't like the silly culture that grew around this, but I do think it'd be quite arrogant of us to assume that in such vast universe we are the shit. Plus, how can the only intelligence in this endless space belong to a bunch of idiots that make up the humanity. We have to admit, we are idiots - look at this world. And so, I remain optimistic, that our way of life is not the only way of life, and that someone did better.

life in space

It's nothing new - matter in what we used to see as an empty space - or just "space". Not my idea, at least C.S.Lewes got there first, but still a great idea - life in that space. I mean intelligence, self-aware beings who do not require a planet, or the same physical dependence on any known matter, exist in between the planets that are visible to our eyes.

laws of physics: nothing can fully disappear, niether can we

And so to find any plausible explanation of weather we disappear into nothingness after we die, I turned to one subject that was never explained to me well in school - physics. One law I do remember - matter can never disappear, regardless of what you do with it. Even acid only breaks it down into molecules. Our body remains here to enrich the soil for the future groves and eventually enters other human bodies through fruit and meat of the animals (ghastly, but a realistic thought - every time I bite on an apple, I get a piece of some dude from a thousand years ago), but what about our consciousness? It has to be of some sort of matter and according to the same law of physics, can not simply disappear. And so this fear of nothingness should be done away with - I, as I perceive and know myself, can not be gone, but only changed, who knows to what degree. First solid prove to myself, I shall never die.

self-convincing

After 17 years of holding on to an idea and a certain conviction, I had to take a step back, and with much sadness let go of it. I had to accept the certain truth - there is none who has the pure truth about our origin, and about the world beyond this one. Some have better ideas than others, but even the most hopeful ideas get squished by human narrow-mindedness. No longer I can ignore that, and although grateful for new angle on life, I go on in search of understanding. With same sad inevitability I also accepted that I will never fully grasp the meaning of my being, I can only continue gathering bits and pieces and move perpetually toward the full knowledge.