I wanted to safe this letter to Jenny M

I am tired of been bullied by life, and so I don't care anymore. I really don't. And so life is good. I used to wait for the "good stripe", but I just decided that I don't want to wait to live. May be from the attitude "whatever comes I'll accept" I shifted toward "something is coming? give me a baseball bat". And for that I am grateful. The last year did change me, and I don't mind it, to be honest. I cared too much about the balance of everyone's feelings, and never really thought about who I am and what I want, even in our marriage. It appears to be healthier to reserve a part of yourself regardless of what other person thinks about it. A silly example - I like weird french food, Mike hates it, and so I never explored it; I like classical music and opera, Mike doesn't, and so I almost never indulged myself. There is only so much a person can give up, and same goes for Mike, I think he felt complied by his culture to give up himself completely. Over the time we both have developed grudges, and now we are searching for ourselves.